Experiment #2: Radiation Testing
This was, in hindsight, pretty stupid... but it was the college's microwave, not ours, so why not?
The Situation
At 2:00 AM, the typical college dorm has just quieted down because everyone
has realized that they have only six hours to complete that term paper they
haven't started that is due for their 8:00 AM class. This quiet time is when the
adventurous dorm experimenters (who had the common sense to do their homework
several hours earlier), have their free time. Since the idea of doing homework
BEFORE screwing around throws these experimenters into a different time zone than
the rest of the dorm, they are again forced to entertain themselves (instead of
taking part in a relatively safe activity... like watching cable TV.)
The Equipment Involved
The standard microwave found in every suite of our dorm and several items
(both edible and non-edible) that were randomly designated as test subjects.
The Plan of Action
I think that just about every kid, when reaching that magic age of 5 or 6,
suddenly begins to take an interest in that amazing thing known as a microwave.
As much as everyone seems to deny it, the microwave still holds some fascination
for folks of all ages. In our particular case, the microwave was designated a
source of experimentation because:
There was all sorts of junk roaming around our dorm room that was small
enough to cram into the microwave
The microwave belonged to the college, not us, meaning we could abuse
it horribly and not feel a single pang of guilt
What ELSE is there to do at 2:00 AM in the morning on a school night?
Sleep?
Therefore, our plan of action was set. We were going to nuke into oblivion
anything we thought we could fit in the microwave.
What Actually Happened
Item Microwaved: Red Delicious Apple
Reaction to Microwave: Apple began to smolder at the 4 minute mark,
whistle at the 7 minute mark, then REALLY stink.
Item Microwaved: Filled Pepper Shaker (Plastic)
Reaction to Microwave: We now know where tear gas comes from. After
about 2 minutes, we were all rubbing our eyes and hacking our lungs out. This
one might be good if you plan on doing it in the room of someone you hate.
Item Microwaved: Typical Florida Cockroach
Reaction to Microwave: I really think this little fellow fits into that
"non-edible" category. After sizzling for about half a minute, the little guy
stopped doing laps around the microwave interior and gave up the ghost.
Item Microwaved: Aluminum Foil
Reaction to Microwave: The Fourth of July had nothing on this display.
A dazzling lightshow and the neat noise of foil crisping is not quite worth
damaging the microwave to the point where it takes 2 minutes to cook a hot dog.
Item Microwaved: AOL Trial CD
Reaction to Microwave: Every Internet enthusiast has about a dozen of
these babies lying around. Microwaving a CD creates a lightshow that reminded us
of the scenes in any "Highlander" movie when an immortal gets his head chopped
off. Acts like aluminum foil, but doesn't damage the microwave as much.
Item Microwaved: 60-Watt Lightbulb in Glass of Water
Reaction to Microwave: Any of you Mr. Wizard fans out there already know
the results of this one. The lightbulb lit up while making a slightly unnerving
buzzing noise. There is THAT much power in there.
Item Microwaved: Car Keys
Reaction to Microwave: Obviously not belonging to us, these keys put on
quite a show. Little bolts of lightning raced back and forth between the keys.
Boy, were those babies HOT when we took them out.
Item Microwaved: Plastic Fork
Reaction to Microwave: A big disappointment. Other than getting a little
warm, nothing happened. Then again, it was one of the few items that we were
pretty sure didn't damage the microwave when we nuked it.
Lessons Learned
There is a lot more juice in the typical microwave than you might think
While microwaving metal is pretty entertaining, it's cheaper to buy
fireworks than a new microwave
We finally found a productive use for all those AOL trial CDs that arrive
in the mail
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